It's the beginning of instruction for the Summer Term, so I find myself in familiar territory, at Starbucks, trying to study. I ask the barista for something strong, to counteract my lack of fortitude in the student arts and we get into a quick conversation about our mutual plight. I told him I should have stayed in Australia.. several times. It piqued his interest so I told him about the program I went overseas with- the drink was comped.

I looked up the program to be sure of the requirements of the program and my heart was broken.

Now the program is extended to 12 months of work visa, where mine was a mere 4 months. I am Jack's bleeding heart. I've never wanted to be 30 again so badly. Youth be damned, I just want to meet the requirements.

I'm sad, but I'm glad I might have helped someone else.

Oh. and by the way. This IS in fact, the end of this blog. After I pull it off in book form/data form, I'll be relocating. What few readers there are (desired readers, that is) I'll be informing you of our new, more secure place of residence. Buena fortuna and ciao, for now.

Thanks for all the fish.

Well if you weren't around for the mini-drama, sorry you missed it, but it did catalyze something that I've been meaning to do. As I don't like being followed or found by people who I don't want trying to follow and find me, I've dropped off the social networks and am looking to administer a private online presence that is both present and future-oriented in nature.

Not sure what I'm going to do yet, it's likely I will be moving my blog somewhere more discreet if not just making this one more secure. I haven't yet decided. This chapter surely, has run its course.

And so has the academic quarter.. so in the meantime, I'm going to brag just a bit (not about the B-) and enjoy not having to read textbooks for a while. This is a sort of goodbye for now.

When I was young I used to read from the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series, which are a disjointed series of books (if read page to page) but full of customization if reading the prompts at the bottom of the relevant pages. You see, you can make a decision that will alter where the story goes and it tells you what page to go to, in order to continue the story.

Lately I can't decide if I'm living a Choose Your Own Adventure by way of choosing through prompts or just reading one page to the next, this, the relative anarchy-by-choice conglomeration I seem to be swimming in.

In addition to all the other things keeping me busy, I decided to open myself up on the dating market again and have just as much time invested in it as all my other occupations, which may not have been a very good decision, but a decision nonetheless has been made. So here we are at the end of April, peeking ever-so-carefully into May and things are sailing steady. With but a few months left on the build and the goal of ultimate-freedom (sort-of) impending, my thought begin to turn toward the next chapter: of jobs or school or hitch-hiking through the U.S. ... I'm not altogether sure. If you were to ask me a few years ago where I imagined myself, or in what manner I imagined myself in, I'd have lost the bet. This points us to the larger thought here- are we making choices page by page, with fate intervening ever-so-slightly? or are we mashing through a jumbled mess of incoherence, hoping we land somewhere with a satisfactory conclusion?

As much as we like to plan and set goals, there are so many variables that take constant swing, either diverting you or knocking you off completely. It's a non-stop challenge, and I think I'm due for a vacation very soon.

In every way, from lyrics to structure, to .. everything.. this song seems to wrap it all up in one- my choice of song for April. Goin' through some changes here folks, as impending anniversaries draw near, I'm ready.



Live version is pretty kickass to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N3VLRfNiAY

(Rabin/Anderson/White)
I'm moving through some changes
I'll never be the same
Something you did touched me
There's no one else to blame

The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
We've given up pretending
As if you didn't care

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

I look into the mirror
I see no happiness
All the warmth I gave you
Has turned to emptiness
The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
You've left me here believing
In love that wasn't there

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Word to the wise - Well you get what's coming
One word can bring you round
Changes

When I look into your eyes and try to find out how
There's no way to save it now
And everything I feel
Changes
Keep looking for
Changes
Changes

For some reason you're questioning why
I always believe it gets better
One difference between you and I
Your heart is inside your head

One word from you
One word from me
A clear design on your liberty
Who could believe when love has gone
How we move on like everyone

Only such fools
Only such jealous hearts

Only through love changes come

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

One road to loneliness
It's always the same
One road to happiness
It's calling your name

Change changing places - Changes
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

Change changing places
Changes
Root yourself to the ground
Word to the wise - Well you get what's coming
One word - One word can bring you round
Changes


*continued
Slow and steady seems to follow the workout regimen too. I've identified which triathlons I would like to stab at, but I'm leery about signing up for any until my academics take a respite. It would seem that late July and August might be good times to start. Having looked at the calendar, I wouldn't miss hardly any of the races i wanted to do, and have a solid choice of at least 4 races, including one in Crystal Cove, which was fun, the Newport Dunes, the Nautica Malibu and a very short Santa Barbara sprint.
It means I need at least a day on the bike per week and to step up the swim workouts. The only one on offer at the time I want is T/Th evenings with the water polo team, which means I have to see if I can actually get in, and if I can actually keep up.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. And to drive the point home, I've decided to ask a little help from my friends.

As per me.. yeah, for every 50 pence, things seem better. I reckon quite soon I'll be amongst the treetops.



And damn you to eternal hell, smearing selves in blood and excrement, the doubters, and to lofty clouded heights those who have helped, been part and parcel to the fires prompting Phoenix again, I am reborn
Full of doubt and clout
Lacking all that remains of the former.

March has been something of a blur. The tally is one B grade and two A's for my first quarter back in "school". This quarter will have 4 classes, which will be completed around June. Luckily I got an extension for financial support for the Certificates, which will make completing them that much easier.

I haven't been paying huge attention to my fitness, but for 3-4 workouts in a given week, but I seem to be slimming down further, although my weight hasn't changed too much.

Every once in awhile I have to break from the busy life to enter social circles. This weekend was spent with Los Angelinos and the fun was had and I feel like I'm returning to my previous confidence and happiness with myself- something which has been lacking since "that day". As time distances me from it, and as plans commence to start recording about it, my remedy will be had. In the end, why would I want to be with someone who would do that to anyone? In the end I've realized how many bullets I've dodged, and how lucky I am to be where I am.



Lastly, a big props to my best amigo for showing me "Soul Power" a documentary of the music festival that was part of the Ali-Foreman bout in Africa. Bill Withers performed a song that pretty much nailed it on the head for me, and what I've been struggling with since a year and change ago. Thank you sir. Very powerful.



So far I've been achieving my goals. Bring on April.

Yeah you, who emailed me through facebook. Didn't you get my emails? No more mis-communicating here, it's pretty plain. Goodbye! Go away!

Enough Mumford and Sons, time to get back to work. Okay, one more video.

The student game has been a bit of an adjustment, but I think I've gotten the hang of how it all works. My first two classes I'm looking at A's and my third.. well, I've garnered enough points for a B thusfar, but the intellectual ego wants an A. The design of this particular class has thrown a few curves at me (that I think were a bit unfair) but life is unfair and it's how you deal with it that makes you or leaves you in the gutter holding your teddy bear in the rain.

In phase 3 of financial obligation deletion, also known as "Operation Kiss my A$$, Banks", I've gone off deferment and started what I should have done ages ago and have taken the first step to ultimate freedom.. or at least until I acquire more student loans-
*Here, have 10%* To be followed by the same twice a month until WHAMMO, it's gone. Part of making and completing goals is a rewards system, so I'm sure to give congrats to myself on intervals, but am being as thankful and as wise with everything as humanly possible- which includes keeping up the work ethos and earning everything that comes.

The Certificates are paid for in half, and I have yet to hear back from the 'man' regarding my 'scholarship'. If I'm going to be lied to by a federal institution, I'm going to fight it as much as I can. They said I'd be extended through my program and then beyond completion. The reality is they shut me down and I had to appeal. My appeal was basically- you guys lied, pay up.

So the round up is this- things are going on plan and as per schedule, though the post-graduate action remains somewhat mysterious...as per usual. Urgh and meh.

After battling on and off sickness for the last two months, I'm seeing the light, but am hesitant to get back into the regime on full, as I'm fearful for a third re-hash. At the moment I'm doing my single swim day and two easy run days, just to keep in the game a bit. I have a great swimming partner, she's very good and has great conversation between sets and a contagious laugh- it keeps the difficulty down to a minimum.

I'm also looking into the local adult soccer leagues, as if my schedule wasn't full enough. But dammit, I've been watching too much Premier League lately and I find myself kicking my legs when I watch the games.

And so we... March on. A few songs that have been jumping around in my head. Tupac (music 3) is ironically both prophetic and a victim or his own inaccurate predictions on the subjects of leadership and the middle east.

I've had a song in my head, so I decided it should be in your head. Had to do it, but will still keep to the one month update.



When I think about rap, I think about flow. There are many types of rap that I like, but few that I like for the flow. It has more to the cadence and musicality of the piece. I tend to enjoy his art because it's a hybrid of the genre,which in many cases, is the better path.